I sat in my backyard. It was my 33rd birthday. It had been an odd day - overcast, patches of rain, yet moments of lovely sunshine. And that was how I felt inside - somewhat gloomy, a few sudden tears, but peaks of gratitude and happiness.
I looked around my backyard - and realized, really for the first time, that this was mine now. Not "ours" - but mine. How very different it looked from when my ex-husband and I bought it 6 years ago. How very different my life looked...
My gaze fell on my Hydrangea bush, which I had basically bought for myself as a mother's day present a few years ago. I fell in love with it at the garden shop - its beautiful blue blooms. I was so excited to plant it, and have freshly clipped blue hydrangea bushels on my table and in my yard. But one year, I cut the blooms incorrectly. Last year, it did not bloom at all... I thought perhaps it was gone for good.
But just recently, it had started blooming again - in pink!
So very different than when I had bought it! Like this backyard, so very different with the addition of kid toys, playhouses, new plants, and a painted shed. Like the house, so very different with the new floors, and bathroom, and one less resident. Like my life. So very, very different...
Looking at my hydrangea bush, I was struck by the simple truth of my life. This wasn't the life I thought I was signing up for - but god, isn't it beautiful?!!
Even if it is pink.